Smokey Bear Files Suit

In a dramatic about face, Smokey the Bear has filed suit against Sheriff Francis to force the Sheriff to quit using ranger uniforms. The uniforms were selected by Francis after offering Bear the undersheriff position. That offer was later withdrawn.

Legal documents filed in Superior court evidence that the once cozy relationship between Bear and Francis had quickly devolved into a bickering match after the election.

In the documents Bear alleges that the Sheriff told Bear that he would deputize the rangers, make Bear the undersheriff and adopt the ranger uniform in exchange for Bear's endorsement. Later Francis tossed Bear under the bus and claimed he was unfit for the undersheriff position.

"Smokey didn't pass the background check," Francis said. "He has a dark past that could resurface at any moment and derail my big reforms."

According to Francis the uniform selection was initially proposed by Smokey who had appeared at the Sheriff's office demanding a badge shortly after the election.

Smokey did not return calls prior to crack wildlife reporter Muabladar Hurfrodornot striking out into the wilderness to get an interview. Hurfrodornot did not return but a tape recording found at the base of a large tree is reported to contain his last words and a revealing interview with Bear.

After Hurfrodornot had gone missing, Bear telephoned lampoon central and in a low growl commented "can't you tell I want to be left alone?"

A transcript of the recording will be published once the Forest Service releases the recording.