Sheriff Investigates Hisself

Sheriff Francis has read in the paper that he's been accused of assaulting a prisoner and wants to get to the bottom of it and find out if he did that by starting an investigation last week.

DA Donny is investigating too, but he's getting sloppy seconds because Francis has already "talked" to the inmates in private. Donny is concerned that the witness pool might be tainted so he's trying to get Francis to quit investigating hisself.

Okay this is serious, evidently some asswipe is going around beating up prisoners in handcuffs, kinda like that guy De Sade.

Only this Marquis doesn't stick to the prostitutes like his predecessor. Its ugly stuff and only one person get to the bottom of it - Corrections correspondent and masochism expert Mualdamar Hurfrodornot.

After being rescued by lampoon staff from a vicious bear attack Hurfrodornot struck out to France on his next assignment to trace similarities between Sheriff Francis and De Sade on the Internet. At least thats what Mualdabar billed us for.

If we'd known how expensive a transatlantic flight was I'd have sent him to the library or one of those Internet cafes I've seen.

The freshly tanned Hurfrodornot, upon his return from some beach filled with half naked French people, disguised himself as a jail prisoner and went out to the jail to see what he could find out. He was soon spotted by the guards, invited in and began visiting with prisoners.

Once we figure out how to get Mualdabar out of jail we'll tell the rest of the story.