Yesterday the spelunkers science team loaded up in the Konocti investigative whirlybird, traveled deep into the heart of Lakeport and conducted a survey to discover why the Sheriff might be spending so much time in his office away from sunshine and friendly faces.
Our thesis was simple - the Sheriff doesn't like sunshine and all it conveys including possibly Solid American values.
Here are the results of that survey in graphical format.
Numbers don't lie. From this chart we can clearly discern that your run of the mill Lakeportians think Francis is most likely a huffy, unAmerican albino alien, a Haaa, possibly hiding out here on Earth.
The questions we asked yesterday were:
1) Why do you think the Sheriff hates America?
2) Is he hiding from someone or something?
3) Is it possible the Sheriff is from the planet Albinoron and can only survive for a few hours in the sun without the incredibly rare and expensive SPF 9999 treatment that allows him to move around in daylight?
Why he's here is anyone's guess but the good money says he'll be gone soon and we'll all be the better for it.
What in the hell is going on around here?
What in the hell is going on around here?
Background for the un-initiated:
November 2010 saw Francisco Rivero elected on platform of transparency and reform with the help of an indicted pot grower and a character assassination blog. Not quite our proudest day but not as bad as some other days. Actually the jury is still out on this one so stay tuned.
Francisco didn't like anything or anyone remotely associated with the former Sheriff so he set out wiping the slate clean by changing the deputies uniforms, destroying the Office of Emergency Services, firing volunteer reserves, demoting some officers and promoting others, taking away correctional officers guns and coffee then giving them a cartoon badge, unplugging the kitchen at the Lowerlake substation,alienating every other law enforcement agency in this county and those of neighboring Mendocino, picking fights with local government officials and squabbling with the state and the county over courthouse security which it turned out wasn't his call.
And then things got weird.
Background for the un-initiated:
November 2010 saw Francisco Rivero elected on platform of transparency and reform with the help of an indicted pot grower and a character assassination blog. Not quite our proudest day but not as bad as some other days. Actually the jury is still out on this one so stay tuned.
Francisco didn't like anything or anyone remotely associated with the former Sheriff so he set out wiping the slate clean by changing the deputies uniforms, destroying the Office of Emergency Services, firing volunteer reserves, demoting some officers and promoting others, taking away correctional officers guns and coffee then giving them a cartoon badge, unplugging the kitchen at the Lowerlake substation,alienating every other law enforcement agency in this county and those of neighboring Mendocino, picking fights with local government officials and squabbling with the state and the county over courthouse security which it turned out wasn't his call.
And then things got weird.
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