Dear Mr. Shrubber,
I have always been a huge fan of honesty. From the day my kids were born, I have instilled the importance of being frank. You see, when they were younger "being frank" meant "being honest". Here recently it seems that everything they say is embellished, inflated or just a flat out lie. I don't put up with liars or thieves. Being the good parent I am, wanting to raise my youngins to be respectable bigguns, I get out grandpas old razor strap and let em have it! After their ball-baggin, they always have the same response. "But, but, but, I was just being frank." "like you always taught us, mawmaw."
The other day it dawned on me. They are not being frank. They are being Frank. It appears Francis has even managed to confuse the hell out of my children. We now refer to Mr. Rivero as "un-Frank" around the children. The kids are mot so confused and are starting to be honest once again.
A few of the other mawmaw's that come over buyin' my bath salts (I work from home) have indicated they are having the same problem with their children. You seem to be a man about the town, and I was wondering if you have seen this confusion spreading in our neck of the woods? If you could do a bit of investigatin', and maybe post some sort of warning to others on the wall of your cave. Could you do that for us?
Sincerely,
MawMaw BathSalts
Dear MawMaw,
I too am long in the tooth and can appreciate 'once upon a time' when frank meant direct, straightforward and honest. Its a sad day for us all to watch as words we once understood are bastardized by the invaders at the gates of civilization.
As parents we have but one solemn oath to uphold and that is to see to it that our children know the rights from the wrongs. Clearly you have identified problems with allowing the mini-mawmaws exposure the blatant deceptions of Francis.
The dizzying complexities of his truth warping can be difficult for adults to unravel especially if they haven't studied hard as we can clearly see with the local klingons.
Francis preys upon the weak minded, panders to their inner desires and makes them believe they really are viable members of society.
If you don't want your children to drop out and wind up at odds with the legal system, the time to act is now. Everybody knows who's behind granpa's razor strop should rightfully have been applied to so make it plan and clear to your children. Show them the early warning signs that prescient writers shared before the ascension of the unwashed one.
Explain that lies beget more lies and most of all, don't allow your children to be exposed to the baldfaced untruths of the pretend Sheriff or they will surely spend time in prison before they go to hell.
Sincerely,
Shrubby
