Santa Clausen Comes to Town

Some folks may recall when the spelunkers cast shadows on the wall that revealed in morbid detail just how much crazy had settled in down in Clearlake.

We even did a bitchin' graph - in color.

Well the percentage of crazy was so high, no pun intended, that it seemed inevitable that eventually somebody from the crazy contingent would wind up on the council. Sure enough, enter Jeri Splitter. Jeri is a prime example of the sort of smack talkin', dropped in a vat of ether at birth, off the deep ended kinda stuff we're seeing lots more of lately and her most recent performance the other night was pure frothing nutz.

They call her 'splitter' because she's about as fractured as a walnut smooshed with an 8 pound sledge.

We didn't have time to put together a fancy chart like that other time so we went out back to the shed and found the trusty ol' crazy-o-meter and dusted it off. Dang thing still works and you'll never guess what it measured.

Full blown cracker dog, running in the pool area with scissors needle pumping insanity action.

The meter works just great

Over here at the cave we decided to bolt that sucker onto the yo mobile and cruise around fishing for fruitcakes. 

Over the jeers from the audience voter people yelling "shut the hell up" and other choice phrases, you could barely make out Splitter moaning about how she didn't dig the new chief cop Santa Clausen and coming real close to blabbing about the super dooper secret squirrel stuff the council talks about in 'closed' session.

Don't really understand why they call it 'closed' since if the council is closed why don't they just go home and curl up on the couch with some fritos and watch reruns or pick their toes or something.

Seems folks were most likely telling her to shut up because she's a total whack job with nothing sane to contribute but shoot it would be cool if she'd blab and let us all know what happens in that santum sanctorium deal where they do the secret stuff. Who cares if its against the law?

Anyway, while the dang place nearly erupted into a good old fashioned tar and feather deal with Jeri on the sticky end of the feathers the other council members just did the usual council stuff and got themselves a new chief cop.

Too bad the new chief isn't buddies with the sharuf but that might have something to with francis trying to arrest him before or maybe it has something to do with francis holding black ops down there in crazy town.



I'm guessin' Santa Clausen probably doesn't have any cool schwag for francis in his bag. Then again, maybe he does.