The Brady Flu

When you get sick folks can usually tell because you're all sneezy and coughy and hackin' up globs of colorful goo that gets all over everything. Do gooders carry around all kinds of stuff to wipe that goo up and keep you from smearing it on phones and stuff that other folks might touch and catch whatever you've got. Some kinds of sick don't look the same though and you can't easily tell that the guy next to you in the peep show might have some kinda sick you could catch.

Francis has that kinda sick, he doesn't have the telltale cough or the spewing junk that usually give it away, til he opens his mouth and starts suing folks. Sometimes he can't even go to meetings he sets up himself so Patador has to try and help out but everybody just wants to talk to francis.

francis' sick is hidden in his head.

Dr. Donny DA examines a real sick patient.

Mostly you can't tell but it leaks out through his mouth just like most kinda sick does. And it can affect a lot of people just like the spanish flu or the black plague did too.

The only real difference is that francis' sick doesn't kill people outright, it just infects things like budgets and morale so those things waste away. Sometimes it even infects other people if they are in too close of contact with it for a while.

Francis' sick is called the Brady flu and it only happens to police cops who can't seem to keep their story straight when confronted with the harsh realities of the legal system. Its preventable but once you get it, that's that.

And there's no cure.

Symptoms can be pretty severe, some sufferers experience a protruding probosis that can be misdiagnosed as Pinocchioitis and can be cured by the Blue Fairy. Another symptom can be repetition of an important story with minor changes each time and the inability to come up with rational explanations for the stupid shit you get involved in.

Fortunately there is a specialist in the LC that treats this disease and his name is Dr. Donny DA. Only a certified Brady doctor can perform the requisite examination to determine whether the patient has the Brady flu or is just a douchebag. The examination can be a grueling experience that reveals all sorts of disgusting things once the doctor starts scraping away at the telltale falsehoods that may indicate the Brady flu.

If the patient is determined to suffer from the Brady flu there is nothing that can be done as the condition is incurable and its even more embarrassing than herpes because it never ever goes away even for a minute.

So francis is trying real hard to convince people he doesn't have the Brady flu and what's really going on is that most healthy people just don't like him so they made it all up even though lotsa folks have seen his flu in action.