I've always thought driving seemed more difficult than necessary and sought out ways to simplify the task be doing without some of the more cumbersome accoutrements like a drivers license or insurance.
That made my life easier but I still hadn't quite managed the autopilot type stuff George Jetson has so the actual act of driving still required me to pay some attention so I could flip a bitch before one of those cop checkpoints or make sure to steer between signs and buildings while driving on sidewalks.
I just found out one of the new marauders on the lake has come up with a scheme to put the lazy back in driving, lord strike me down with one of those light bulb deals if I'm wrong about this.
Olga Martin Squeele, best known for milking the public teat and inserting herself into every goddamn thing that comes along, has shown us that you can avoid the more menial tasks associated with driving by letting a cat do it. Kinda like Toonces but with some oversight.
What the Squeele does is straps a cat to the steering wheel so she can tool around talking on the phone and pounding BK stackers down her gullet.
Nobody would ever have found out if she hadn't wandered into the CPD recently and left her chaufeur in feline bondage out in the parking lot where Jeeves, the cat, started honking the horn to attract attention.
Probably just wanted to get the hell away from Olga.
Jeeves saw his opportunity and set about wailing at the top of his lungs and blowing that horn but Olga got done telling CPD how to do their jobs and came back to have him drive her home.
What in the hell is going on around here?
What in the hell is going on around here?
Background for the un-initiated:
November 2010 saw Francisco Rivero elected on platform of transparency and reform with the help of an indicted pot grower and a character assassination blog. Not quite our proudest day but not as bad as some other days. Actually the jury is still out on this one so stay tuned.
Francisco didn't like anything or anyone remotely associated with the former Sheriff so he set out wiping the slate clean by changing the deputies uniforms, destroying the Office of Emergency Services, firing volunteer reserves, demoting some officers and promoting others, taking away correctional officers guns and coffee then giving them a cartoon badge, unplugging the kitchen at the Lowerlake substation,alienating every other law enforcement agency in this county and those of neighboring Mendocino, picking fights with local government officials and squabbling with the state and the county over courthouse security which it turned out wasn't his call.
And then things got weird.
Background for the un-initiated:
November 2010 saw Francisco Rivero elected on platform of transparency and reform with the help of an indicted pot grower and a character assassination blog. Not quite our proudest day but not as bad as some other days. Actually the jury is still out on this one so stay tuned.
Francisco didn't like anything or anyone remotely associated with the former Sheriff so he set out wiping the slate clean by changing the deputies uniforms, destroying the Office of Emergency Services, firing volunteer reserves, demoting some officers and promoting others, taking away correctional officers guns and coffee then giving them a cartoon badge, unplugging the kitchen at the Lowerlake substation,alienating every other law enforcement agency in this county and those of neighboring Mendocino, picking fights with local government officials and squabbling with the state and the county over courthouse security which it turned out wasn't his call.
And then things got weird.
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