Go ahead, Drain the Lake - Newby

Ever tried a locust taco with Guacamole?

What is up with all the recent transplants always wanting to come into Lake with all their great new ideas, totally upset the balance of peculiar we've all become adjusted to and then move on to some greener pasture to despoil like a swirling horde of mutant locusts with crazy-tipped wings laying waste to all in their path?


The mysterious lands beyond the hills must be filled with unaccomplished messiahs looking to make a mark.

It happens over and over here so there are plenty of examples. Nitwits drive into the county, set up shop and immediately set about changing all the stuff that brought them here in the first place. Sometimes they even enlist the indigenous Lake Countians in their efforts to help gain some destructo-traction.

I wasn't actually thinking of the ancient Indians but what the hell, they were here first so they've seen this crap happen first hand and they saw it before we had all those nifty laws to prevent really horrific stuff from being de-rigeur so those folks really got their hats handed to them.

Take them that want to turn the lake into a dustbowl for example; they think that draining and dredging the lake is a fantastic idea so it could be more like lake Tahoe. Point of fact Lake Tahoe is a 'dead' lake so basically these folks are the grim reaper's cheerleaders whose goal is a zombie lake where once the carp were free to suffocate and wash up on shore at will.

Somebody needs to stand up for the dead and dying carp!

Then you've got Francis with his peculiar brand of change and freakshow entourage riding Tom's Crazy Train and turning law enforcement on its ear to create enough chaos so that the big pot growers can do their thing with impunity.

News flash for Francis - Tom and the other pot growers were doing just fine before you sued Frisco and moved up here. Anybody else think its curious that Francis shows up and Tom gets busted?

Don't laugh, its paid for.

Let's not forget the grifters arriving by night that show up in the midst of all the misguided wanna-be do-gooders to take advantage of the situation like that Rowland Mosser guy who hosed the seniors over there on the Northshore by ripping off a Senior center. He should have picked a bigger target since according to his facebook page he still hasn't managed to get moved out of that singlewide trailer though he did score 15 minutes in the papers while the old DA was poking around in his colon.

Instead of focusing on this clear newby-itis sypmptom the Spelunkers Sanity Squad thought it might be wise to focus on the causes for this behavior.

The roads leading into the county come to mind.

Evidently Caltrans is in on the newby plague since they keep fixing up those ingress roads in spite of Mother nature's best efforts to grind em back into dust. So maybe those of us that like things calm and quirky need to take a page from the Newby Handbook and go exert our will over the rest of the state by establishing some 'no-repair' zones on the roads that the newbies use to invade.

Closed for remodeling,
come back much later.

That would limit access to those that really really want to be here and turn away them that want to recreate this place to be more like wherever they just escaped from. If it was so freakin' great wherever you came from then what the hell are you doing here?

Or maybe we could set aside a portion of the county to contain the newcomers till their cancerous brains adapt to 'the way things are' here in paradise. My vote would be Clearlake since that town is already deep into the crazy. Set em loose in Clearlake; if they survive for a decade then give em a hall pass into the rest of the county and see how they do.

Maybe I'm backwards or even a little provincial wanting things left alone but there really is something nice about a dearth of turmoil.