Just in case.Recently, Ranger Francis courageously saved an innocent Hell's Angel from certain death at the hands of a ferocious fawn. The outlaw biker was on his way to church when from nowhere a rabid, acrobatic, meth addict deer leaped onto his motorcycle in a clear attempt at a hog-jacking.
The biker's hands were torn from his ape-hanger handle bars and he was thrown to the ground and faced certain death at the hooves of Bambi.
Just as death was preparing to fuel the Sheriff's crematorium Ranger Francis happened along the bloody scene and measured up the freakish situation he'd stumbled into.
Ranger Francis had to act fast to save the angel and pulled his 40 cal from its holster, drew down on the wounded baby deer and blew it away. Dirty Harry would have been proud.
In a gesture that caught everyone off-guard, Ranger Francis took full responsibility for his part in the heroic bloodbath by calling his squeeze at the local paper to let her know that he had once again saved the day.
Listen to the audio captured by an onlooker and notice that Ranger Francis fells Satan's spawn fawn with a single shot and reloads to make sure the biker's life was spared.
Holstering his weapon with a manly swagger, Sheriff Francis promised to onlookers that he would pressure that lefty commie loving DA into setting up roadblocks at county lines to make sure no more dangerous wildlife enters the county.
Detectives at the scene confirmed that several ferns, a barn door and an entire wooded area were also wounded.
Honorary spelunkers contributed to this article.
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