Pat's European Holiday

One week into his shiny new GOB job, Francis' new undersheriff headed off to Spain to score a pair of swanky matador pants for Ranger Francis.

Francis' flower a month calendar.

Unfortunately Pat didn't get back in time for the 5th Annual Jarepeo and that really ticked Francis off last week, we all noticed he was really angry about something and all grumbly and shouty and stuff but didn't know why until we learned about the matador pants and then it all clicked.

At first we thought maybe he was mad that Pat went on a two-week holiday a week after starting work but that wasn't it at all. We bugged Francis' office so we could listen in.

Pat was on a super dooper secret squirrel mission to get Francis those matador pants so he could wear them to the 5th Annual Jarepeo. Francis really wanted to go to the 5th Annual Jarepeo because it rhymes with the name of one of Francis' heros - Joe Arpaio.

Ranger Francis had fears that at the 5th Annual Jarepeo he wouldn't be the absolute center of attention so he sent Pat off to get those pants.

Pat squeezes into Francis' matador pants.

Francis really wanted those pants for the 5th Annual Jarepeo because they fit real snug just like President Bush's 'mission accomplished' pants and show off his junk.

Only Pat didn't come back in time for the 5th Annual Jarepeo.

Pat called Francis during the week to tell him that he was running late for the 5th Annual Jarepeo and when he heard the sniveling disappointment in Francis' voice he realized Francis needed those pants like yesterday and he was going to have to really step it up a notch to impress his new boss.

Pat models his swanky Patador outfit.

So instead of buying just one pair of matador pants and risking the wrath of Ranger Francis, Pat bought two pairs of matador pants and then found a really fantastic paella recipe so he and Francis could each put on a pair of matador pants and talk about their brilliant future together over a steaming pile of paella and some chilled San Miguel.

About this vacation deal. How come at my GOB job I had to wait three flipping months before I could take a break but Pat gets to go on holiday after a week?

I bet Pat thinks he's the teacher's pet or something. Boy is he gonna be surprised when Francis rolls him under the bus at the first stop and he gets his cool new matador pants messy. On the bright side Pat looks pretty good in those pink matador pants.

Its kinda too bad he won't be at the 6th Annual Jarepeo to show off his smokin' hot Patador outfit.