Batter Up Bitch

We just finally stopped laughing after Muabladar nearly pissed himself. It's all fun and games till somebody wets the nylon couch and you have no idea how hard it is to dry crap out inside a cave.

Seems 'ol Possum Head, that failed lifequard formerly know as Bojangles, tried to get all up on some other gal's grill last week and wound up getting the heave-ho for her trouble.

Normally I'd pay good money for a chick fight but somehow this one just put me off my cheetos.

We all knew something had happened that wasn't kosher and then somebody said that sneaky long story place actually told the tale of the taller, fatter, older skank and her failed attempt at fisticuffs. The shrubber hasn't been reading much news lately so it seemed like a good idea to check in and see if all the chatter was for real.

Total bonzai boomerangin', jaw droppin', slap your thigh and laugh out loud for real  as it turned out. Usually we just laugh under our breaths since I can't risk some dumbass getting the wrong idea and screwing up my sweet GOB job for me so I have to go find some other way to pay for beer and snacks.

Seems this teeny weeny gal Mindy over at the easy reading place came in to work and invited gigantasorus 'ol Possum Head to visit with her in the office when things went south in a hurry for big 'ol Possum Head's foray into local politics. Forsooth.

Nobody seems to know what really happened but the end result was that the police got involved and the monstrously huge 'ol Possum Head got her ass kicked out of the easy reading place for taking a swing and a miss with two strikes and nobody on base.

Guess whooooo?

Game over.

Seems kinda odd that some grotesquely huge broad could have any trouble at all swatting an itty bitty little gal like Mindy but word has it that leviathan-like 'ol Possum Head has poor eyesight or something.

Hell maybe she was just drunk, it happens.

Like I remember once sipping a cold one and causing enough trouble to get my ass kicked too, but that's a whole other story for another time.

So the blind drunk abnormally large old goat got herself an escort to the door and was politely asked not to return by the burly dudes from out back who  tossed her onto her head in the street outside the easy reading place.

I guess she's lucky she didn't have to snack on her own teeth that day since the folks over at the easy reading place are just plain too nice to do a thing like hit back or something.

I wonder if we've heard the last of that chapter but one things for sure, if that monstrous freak of  were the one draining out my bed pan I'd be thinking about a new IHSS worker for sure.

Missing, no Action

The other day the spelunkers noticed something had been odd for a while, a long while. Here at the cave we don't usually pay much attention to stuff but it occurred to us that the mood seemed different.

We quit chomping on celery and tortilla chips for a minute and listened, it was quieter. No gnashing of teeth, no crying or shouting. But what had changed?

We decided to ask Francis what was going on since he's the head-cheese and went and knocked on his door. But no answer. So we called him. But no answer.

We never did get a call back and started to get worried that the douchebag might have hurt himself so we sent a search party out looking for him to see where he might be.

 

We looked all over, we searched and searched at the Sharuf's dungeon, some crime scenes, at a drive by shooting place, in a crowd, in some bushes and at the bottom of the lake among the other bottom feeders but still couldn't find him.

Spot the Poobah!

We even took a picture of him around to help taxpayers remember what he looked like but no such luck. Sorta like POOF, he's vanished and nobody knows where he is.

Poor francis is missing, if you've seen him tell him to stay where he is since things are quieter around here.

Must be nice to have a high paid gig where you don't even have to check in. Wonder what he's hiding from?